Should Your Divorce Or Save Your Marriage?
Both Audrey and Owen had refused to read our books and material. They were too angry, too hurt, too nervous to blame one another for their marital problems. So I suggested that Audrey go to see Fireproof, a movie that focused on a troubled marriage and what the guy did to save it. I was hoping that she would then get her husband, Owen, to see it as well. My hopes were dashed after she saw it and said, “I don’t want Owen to see this. He might start trying to do those things and my mind already is made up. I want out.”
Further conversation revealed that she felt that once her marriage to Owen was over, she’d marry the guy she’d already found, and if that didn’t work out, she’d go find another. Whereas she had been committed to her first marriage for 18 years, now she wasn’t committed to much of anything except finding someone with whom she could sleep.
Had Arianna met Audrey, Arianna might have been able to paint a picture of the future for her. Arianna and I met at a small church we were attending when our children were small, and since our kids were about the same age, we set play dates for them, taking turn at each other’s homes watching them. One day over coffee she said, “Life has not been easy for me, Margaret. I’m on my sixth marriage, you know; in addition I’ve had several affairs – some with married men.”
No, I didn’t know and never would have guessed. “That must have been rough,” I said. “Wasn’t there any way you could have preserved even one of your previous marriages together?”
“Nope,” she said. “My first husband was a bum. The second cheated on me. Let’s see – husband number three didn’t make enough cash. The fourth one was controlling and conceited and the fifth had kids I couldn’t stand. The guys I had the affairs with? They didn’t want divorces from their wives. They just wanted to fool around.”
“And Anthony?” I asked regarding her present husband, as I tried to pick my chin up off the floor. “How’s he working out?”
“He’s okay,” she said. “Actually, I don’t have much choice now.” She glanced in the mirror. “I’m not a threat to anyone at this point in time.”
Like Arianna and Audrey, some people see no reason why they shouldn’t have affairs. Nor do they have any compunction about divorcing if their expectations aren’t met after they marry. Why should they even try to honor their wedding vows? Marriage becomes sort of a game to them. If they start losing, they head for city hall. Sadly, later in life when the women lose much of their allure and outward beauty, they almost always end up lonely and depressed.
These merry-go-round marriage riders are searching…hoping that the next lover will be better than the present one.
The list of marriage offenders is long and, honestly, repugnant. There’s a reason why more second marriages end in divorce than first ones. Every time you go on to someone else, you take a lot of dirty laundry with you. Couple that with the baggage he/she brings into the 2nd, 3rd, 4th (or more) marriage, and you’ve got triple and quadruple the trouble than you want.
There isn’t a marriage that can’t be saved, assuming the partner isn’t mentally ill or abusive. If your marriage is in trouble, do all you can to save it. We show you how to do just that in our books and material for men and books and material for women on our marriage saving site where we have help for both men and women. We also lead you step by step into a better, happier relationship with your marriage partner. We want nothing more than to see you successful in saving your marriage or making it superb instead of simply so-so. Tap into what we have today.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
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